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SMOKO SHED

Aunty Announces She Can See Straight Through Every Linehand's Bullshit And The Whole Trade Starts Rehearsing Its 'Five Minutes Away' Story Again

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7 hr ago

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Aunty Announces She Can See Straight Through Every Linehand's Bullshit And The Whole Trade Starts Rehearsing Its 'Five Minutes Away' Story Again
G-RILLA Confirms The Fuck Some Arse Tee Is Dropping Again, One More Time Bruh, With A Countdown Clock And Zero Apology
Press Conference Threat To Kick Opponent Out Of His Fucking Shoulders Ages Like Mix Left In The Barrel As The Internet Files It Under Nek Minute
Three Coppers Walk The Gravel Beside Strathfield Platform While A Dozen Commuters Give It Their Full Attention And Nobody Looks At The Timetable
Jade Grabs The Big Hose, Declares It Fucking Heavy, Then Takes The Whole Load Like A Professional While A Voice Off Camera Says She Is Doing Amazing
Comedian Reads The Concrete Pumping Glossary Out Loud And Discovers The Whole Trade Has Been Running A Filthy Personals Ad For Fifty Years
Customs Officer Runs Through Heroin And Cocaine Like A Smoko Order While Bloke In White Collar Shirt Answers 'No, No, No' With Total Composure
Fire Crew Reminds Entire Street That The Halligan Bar Is A Universal Tool While The Cops Stand Close By Holding Nothing But Their Belts
Aunty Demands Linehand Explain Three Inch Versus Four Inch Clamp In Full Detail And Do Whatever The Fuck He Has To Do
Young Starkys Bloke Finally Handed The Hose And The Bowl Wash-Out, Crew Calls It A Promotion And Nobody Corrects Them
Aunty Opens With 'Hey, You Fucking Dog, What's It Cook?' And Every Linehand In The Country Confirms She Is Fluent, Accent Included
Bloke In White Hardhat Sorts Site Dispute On The Spot Without HR As Orange Hat Does Exactly What He's Told
Coach Sway Demonstrates Exactly How Hard He Is Going To Drive Into Your Mum, Shoulder First, No Arms, Full Commitment, Zero Wrap
Concrete Crew Confirms Thick Skin Is Mandatory On Site After One Year Of Washing Tools Has Produced Zero Clean Tools And Total Acceptance Of The Result
Pumpy Greets Agi Driver With 'Are You Done?' Then 'What The Fuck?' After Finding Him Already In The Hopper Without A Word To Anyone
Young Bloke Tells Mates How He Got Clean After Court, Cells And A Wake-Up Call From Mum, Trade Says Linehand Material And Maybe Operator
Glen Innes Bloke Issues Formal Warning He Is Off To Do Gangster Shit On The Block, Straight From A Backyard With The Bike Still On The Grass
Perfect Linehand Located On A Twelve Dollar Café Stool, Built Like A Hopper, Banned From Talking To The Client And Unable To Be Sunburnt
Sleeble Told No One Can Hear Him But Everyone Can Smell Him As G-rilla Teases Friday Merch Drop And The Desk Asks If He Needs A New Tee
Gen Z Bloke Screams 'I'm Dead, Help Me Bro' At An Empty Room Over A Video Game, Trade Confirms He Will Never Pump Concrete
Operator Wakes Up Knowing He Is The Fucking Sexiest Man On Any Site And Walks Into The Yard Like Tony Soprano On Holiday
Near-Naked Bayswater Sprinter Clears Fences And Climbs A Roof Faster Than Any Apprentice Has Ever Reached The Smoko Van
Bloke Calls The Blowout Down To The Last Rock From A Grandstand Rail, Whole Stand Turns Round And Looks At Him Like The Crew Does On Good Days
Hi-Vis Bloke Offered One Beer To Get The Tree Down, Runs Straight At It Like A Boom Pour Deadline And Tree Keeps The Beer
Bloke Says Baggie Was Lovely, Nothing Wrong With It, Still Not Paying, And Every Linehand With An Open Smoko Tab Has Just Found Their Anthem
Bloke Stands Bolt Upright On Moving Harley In Balaclava And Sunnies, Pumpers Confirm Burnouts, Boobs And Beers Are The Only Three Things Worth Getting Up For
Robots Discover Colombian Software And Go Full Gold Coast Special, Now Need Only Peptides, Tastys And A Burleigh Pad To Be One Of The Boys
Amateur Debutant Leaps Through The Air With A Superman Punch And Finishes His First Fight Before A Project Manager Can Ask For An Update
Butcher Bird Robs Gold Coast Wagyu Burger Tucked So Far Into The Back Corners That Even The Crew Needed A Survey Before Scoring It 19 From 30
Sydney Crew Announce 200 Cube Will Start At 2pm With A Laugh, Dinner Declared A Casualty Before The First Truck Backs In
Woman Walks Out Of Caravan Saying 'I Want To Have Some Coffee', Operators Confirm That Is Exactly How Their Morning Brew Arrives Every Day
Bloke Stands Armpit Deep In A Fresh Slab Checking The Laser Level Like He's Waiting For A Bus, Trade Asks Who Forgot The Pump Hose
Pumpy Asked Whether He Helps With The Clean Up Or Just Watches, Trade Confirms Supervising From The Cab Counts As Hard Labour
Bloke Wrestles Power Trowel Across Fresh Slab In Gumboots Like It Owes Him Money, Leaves Footprints Everywhere And Calls It A Typical Day
Bali Pump Crew Sets Up Under A Nest Of Power Lines And Asks Safety Who The Fuck That Is, Sydney Says Never Heard Of Her Either
Harrisdale Pour Goes Three For Three And A Bloke In A Singlet Has Taken The Scorecard Personally, Sleeves Surgically Removed For The Occasion
Local Linehands Launch Search For Labour Who Pulls A Screed Like This For Free On A Weekend, Own Apprentice Still Won't Hold A Broom
Ginger Bloke In Tonga Jersey Stands Boots Wide On A Live Hose, Reads The Group Chat Tag Calling Him Tongan And Accepts It As Official Paperwork
Old boy found out the hard way, he never really did still have it
Tensions flair as the ole close enough certainly wasn’t good enough

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MERCH DROP

G-RILLA Confirms The Fuck Some Arse Tee Is Dropping Again, One More Time Bruh, With A Countdown Clock And Zero Apology

9 hr ago

FIGHT DESK

Press Conference Threat To Kick Opponent Out Of His Fucking Shoulders Ages Like Mix Left In The Barrel As The Internet Files It Under Nek Minute

13 hr ago

PLATFORM DESK

Three Coppers Walk The Gravel Beside Strathfield Platform While A Dozen Commuters Give It Their Full Attention And Nobody Looks At The Timetable

14 hr ago

ON THE MESH

Jade Grabs The Big Hose, Declares It Fucking Heavy, Then Takes The Whole Load Like A Professional While A Voice Off Camera Says She Is Doing Amazing

18 hr ago

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