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Aunty Delivers Full Toolbox Talk In Eleven Words, Tells Every Linehand To Look At Themselves And Then Not Bother With The Mirror
SMOKO SHED — "Look at yourselves." Aunty said it twice, then told the room not to bother with the mirror, and a trade that has been dodging both for decades just got its pre-start. It is the first briefing in years that every linehand understood on the first go, mostly because it came with swearing.
She didn't need slides. "Look at yourselves, fucker," she says, and then, "don't look in the mirror, you cunts, fuckwits." That is a complete risk assessment: find the hazard, point at the hazard, name the hazard. The safety officer has needed eleven laminated pages and a sign-on sheet to get to less.
One linehand, who has not been near a mirror since the Tuesday before the last long weekend, said he took it personally and then took it fine. "Yeah nah, she's right," he said. "I've been looking at the wrong thing for years. Mostly the clock."
An industry analyst who hasn't been called out by anyone since 2019 says the method works because it skips the reflection and goes straight to the point. Crews are expected to adopt it as the standard morning briefing: one Aunty, no slideshow, and a ute that goes very quiet.
The apprentice asked if there would be a quiz. There was. He's still sitting in the ute.
Satire, obviously.PumpLife is a satirical publication about the concrete pumping and concrete industry. The stories here are made up for a laugh and are not statements of fact. Any resemblance to a real operator, concreter, pump or smoko is a coincidence.
