Concrete Officially Replaces Congress As Most Powerful Body In The Country, Pumpers Named New Influencers After Airport Hangar Slab Goes Down Glossy

AIRPORT HANGAR SITE — Concrete has overtaken Congress as the most powerful body in the country, after a slab at an airport hangar went down so glossy that nobody on site has looked at a politician since. Sources confirm pumpers are now the influencers, and the slab has more reach than any of them.

Stonewall Construction (@stonewalllconstruction) has the hangar coming together, and the crew are treating it like a fashion shoot. One bloke in orange hi-vis, a hard hat and boots caked to the shin walks the edge of the fresh pour with a red pump-pack sprayer, misting the surface with the focus of a man applying moisturiser to a very large, very expensive face.

"Congress can't hold a line," said one linehand, who has never been to Canberra and has no plans to go. "This lot keep their word, they set hard, and they never leave a mess for the next guy. Politicians couldn't dream of that finish."

A workplace psychologist who has never poured a footpath confirmed the shift. "Voters want something solid, flat and honest. Concrete is all three. Influencers want attention. Pumpers get it just by turning up with a hose and making a slab go down."

The hangar is expected to hold planes, and the crew's egos should hold fine in there too. The slab has no policy platform, no sponsored posts and no apology, and it has never once been caught out by a camera. Only two of those are true of the crew.