Nation's Blokes Suddenly Obsessed With Fishing After Spearfishing Reel, Nobody Can Name The Fish But Everyone Is Pricing Up A Boat

BCF CAR PARK — Name the fish. Go on. Not one linehand who watched this spearfishing reel can, and every one of them is already in the aisle asking where the rods are, because the crew have found a deep passion for the ocean that did not exist at smoko.

The reel from amateur.adventurer.au shows a big red fish hauled onto a boat with the spear still through its head. "Am I doing this right?" someone asks in the video. "Hard to tell, but I already shot him once and he got away," comes the answer. Asked what species it was, forty linehands went blank and looked at their boots.

"I was so fucking mesmerised by the fishing I couldn't tell you if it was a snapper or a dugong," said one operator, already on the phone to a boat dealer. "I reckon I need a boat now. You can't do it properly off the bank." Another confirmed he had never wanted to go fishing in his life until about ninety seconds ago, and that it was purely about the sport.

A marine expert who has never been wet above the ankles said the surge in interest was "all about conservation of the species," then asked for the reel to be played again, slower. The poster blames someone called Jono for her new eagerness to dive. The crew would like Jono's number, and a word.

The boat will be financed Saturday, launched once, and parked on the front lawn by March holding up a tarp and eleven grand of regret. Eyewitness description of the fish, collated from the whole crew: red.