Pumper Ready To Answer 'What Time You Finishing Today?' With One Straight Front Kick Down The Middle After ONE Championship Shows Him How

SITE CAB, 6AM — "What time you reckon we'll finish today?" It's six words, asked every morning by a linehand who hasn't got his gloves on yet, and one concrete pumper now knows the only acceptable reply: a front kick, straight down the middle, delivered right onto the chin. The boss has been loading that answer since the truck pulled in.

The technique comes out of ONE Championship, where a fighter in rainbow shorts planted the back foot, lifted the knee and drove a front kick through the centre of the other bloke's head. There was no windup and no discussion. The man in the yellow shorts folded like a boom with a blown ram, and the whole thing was over faster than a linehand can ask when he's getting home.

"It's a fair question at ten to seven," said one linehand, who asked not to be named in case the boss is reading. "Nobody has ever answered it right. The truck's late, the mix is cooked, access is fucked and he still wants a time."

Industry analysts confirmed the front kick is the only move in combat sport with the reach of a 42-metre boom and the same attitude to personal space.

The pumper insists he will never actually throw it, mostly because the linehand is the only one who knows where the hose is. The answer to the question stays the same: when the mud stops. From tomorrow it comes with the knee already up.