Operator Watches ONE Championship Fighter Plant Front Kick Straight Down The Middle And Finally Feels Seen By The Sport Of Kicking Linehands

THE END OF THE BOOM — A fighter at ONE Championship has delivered a front kick straight down the middle of his opponent's guard, and every pump operator in the country has watched it six times with the sound off and a look of pure recognition. It is the exact move they have been rehearsing in their heads since 5:45am, every time a linehand looks up from his smoko and asks "how many jobs we got today?"

The kick, thrown by @detchewalit_silkmt, travelled in a perfectly straight line with no wasted movement, which operators say is more than they can say for the average pipe layout. The ref immediately started counting, then the fighter jumped up on the ropes with his arms out like a bloke who has just been told the last truck is cancelled.

"Mate, I've never seen anyone so calm after a job," said one operator, who has been asked the same question four times since the first load and has stopped answering out loud. "Same number as last time. Same number as five minutes ago. Check the sheet. The sheet is in your hand."

A workplace psychologist who has never stood next to a boom confirmed the front kick is a recognised form of communication. "It's an answer. It just happens to be delivered with the foot," he said. "Every operator already knows the number. The linehand asks anyway, because hope is cheap and so is he."

At press time the linehand had asked again, the sheet still said the same thing, and the operator was seen quietly practising his stance behind the hopper.

Editor's Note: No linehands were kicked. Satire, obviously.