Wannabe White Flash Ends With No Cash And A New Nickname: Sleeble

The White Flash, last seen getting mauled by Hercules in the race that stops the nation, has walked away from Grilla Concreting's great shit-talk showdown with no cash, no dignity and a brand new name: Sleeble.

The renaming was held on site in front of fresh formwork and a slab's worth of black plastic, and was over in 30 seconds. "From this day forth, everyone please refer to him as Sleeble," the announcement went, before the crew chanted the name three times like they'd just won the grand final.

The name traces back to PumpLife's own race coverage, which noted the White Flash had "the build of the coffee worms from Men In Black". One of the boys Googled the coffee alien on the spot, and that was that. PumpLife takes no responsibility and full credit.

An official poster dropped within the hour, showing Sleeble in a black suit, sunnies and a dart, with the body of an alien who has had nine long blacks before smoko. It calls him "Part man. Part Sleeble. 100% legend," and carries his personal motto: "I don't do average. I do Sleeble."

"He wanted a nickname, cuz," one labourer said. "Should've been careful what he wished for. Should've been careful what he bet, too."

A nickname historian who has never been given one confirmed the name is now legally binding. "You can't come back from that," he said. "His grandkids will call him Pop Sleeble."

Sleeble himself was seen grinning on a shovel in gumboots, still a week's wage down and already answering to it.

At press time, Hercules had ordered 14 coffees for smoko, all of them on Sleeble.

Editor's Note: Ran his mouth, lost his wage, got a new name. Welcome to the crew, Sleeble.

Satire, obviously.