Local Operator Charges What The Pump Actually Costs, Immediately Reported To Authorities

ADELAIDE — A concrete pump operator who worked out what his pump actually costs to run per hour, and then charged accordingly, has been reported to authorities by three competitors, two builders and one bloke at the pub who does not own a pump.

The operator's alleged crime was sitting down one night with a calculator and adding up fuel, rego, insurance, tyres, rubbers, wear parts, wages, super, workers comp, breakdowns, rain days and all the hours he works that never hit an invoice. He then set an hourly rate that covered those things, with margin on top.

'It's un-Australian,' said one competitor, who has charged the same going rate since 2016 and describes his own business as 'flat out and mysteriously broke.'

The Going Rate Defended

Local operators rallied around the traditional pricing method, in which everyone charges roughly what everyone else charges and nobody checks whether the number covers anything. The rate is handed down through the generations, like a surname, or a limp.

'You don't question the going rate,' one explained. 'You hear it at the plant, you copy it, and then you work six days a week wondering where the money went. That's the system. This bloke is making the rest of us look like we can't count. Because we can't. But that's not the point.'

Builders Alarmed

Builders expressed concern that the operator's new rate, which reflects reality, came in higher than the number they prefer, which reflects nothing. One described the pricing as 'greedy' before driving off in this year's LandCruiser to dispute a waiting-time charge worth less than his wheel nuts.

Economists confirmed no offence had been committed. 'Charging above your break-even is generally known as running a business,' one said. 'Charging below it also has a technical name: a hobby. An expensive one. With a boom on it.'

The Confession

Under questioning, the operator admitted everything. Yes, he knows his cost per hour. Yes, he knows billable hours are fewer than working hours, so he plans around the weeks he actually gets, not the perfect ones. Yes, he charges waiting time from when he's set up, and yes, he invoices the same day. He showed no remorse.

He reportedly learned the method from the Know Your Real Rate module, which he described as 'the most expensive cheap thing I ever bought, because it showed me I'd spent three years paying builders for the privilege of pumping their concrete.'

At time of press, two of the three competitors who reported him had quietly asked to borrow the calculator. The third has responded by buying a second pump, then a third, and is now busier than ever and closer to broke than ever. He describes this as 'growth.'

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