A man in a white T-shirt stands in a freshly poured concrete floor up to his armpits in a brick room, with green laser level lines across the surface.
Picture: @vasia_5550

SITE DESK

Bloke Stands Armpit Deep In A Fresh Slab Checking The Laser Level Like He's Waiting For A Bus, Trade Asks Who Forgot The Pump Hose

On The Boom

A BRICK SHED — One bloke is standing in a freshly poured floor up to his armpits, glancing back over his shoulder like the mud just asked him something rude. The green laser is skimming his chest, the slab is flat as a billiard table, and he is the only thing in the building not level. Every linehand in the country has pictured the day the pour finally wins, and this fella is out there doing it on camera.

It is not clear who decided this was a floor and not a bath, but nobody on the job looks surprised. The brickwork is bare, the hole in the corner is wide open, and the mix is deep enough that a wheelbarrow would need a lifejacket.

"Tired of office work? Bored? Autumn depression? Come to our building site," says the voice in the video, selling a free course in 'labour therapy' with cultured colleagues and an endless supply of swearing. It lists the jobs on offer, including master of moving loose mixes from one place to another, and promises to cure free time, depression and sleepless nights in one go.

On this evidence the cure works. Nobody in that shed is sleepless. Nobody has free time. One of them can't move his legs.

A pumper would have kept him out with a hose and a bit of respect. Here the only thing holding the line is a laser pointer and a white T-shirt that, somehow, is still clean.

Satire, obviously.PumpLife is a satirical publication about the concrete pumping and concrete industry. The stories here are made up for a laugh and are not statements of fact. Any resemblance to a real operator, concreter, pump or smoko is a coincidence.

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